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Modern Pirate Gaaaaarb!

By |   April - 27 - 2009

Modern Pirates

Modern Pirates

I’ve never really understood the affinity people have for pirates. These are people who were known for raping and pillaging, right? Not something that you’re normally hero-worship. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that it was the outfits. I mean it’s hard not to like someone wearing a puffy shirt, bright red harem pants and loads of wonderful accessories including overstated hats, bandanas, peg legs, parrots and eye patches.

Typical Pirate: ...lets call him "Jack"

Classic Pirate: ...lets call him 'Jack'

So with the recent news and everyone turning against the modern Somali pirates for their exploits with Richard Phillips. I think they need a little help from the fashion world to make them as popular as their swashbuckling predecessors. Below are my suggestions for how modern pirates could improve their image with a piratey fashion makeover.

Let’s start at the bottom and give them a practical waterproof work boot but something stylish like the Norcross Servus 12” Knee Boots practical and stylish. Moving upward, I think a sleeker fitting pair of trousers is good, but something with a splash of color like the Ed Hardy Print Velour Pants. The colorful dragon tattoo is energetic and yet threatening at the same time and the pants have an elastic waist for comfort. I think the puffy shirt is no longer practical so how about something more trim like a graphic thermal t-shirt like the Wicked Quick Slim Fit Crewneck Thermal, it’s a bit edgy and stylishly worn. And finally, instead of an eye patch and an overstated hat, how about a nice pair of Maui Jim Canoes Wrap Sunglasses and a Lacoste Croc Logo Beanie. (I know its rough at sea, but our friend “Jack” should probably stay away from the waterproof eyeliner)

As far as pets go, I still think a sassy parrot is a great idea but because they have not undergone the long captive breeding process that other birds have they’re actually better off in the wild. So a nice Cockatiel would be a better option. And suddenly, Voila! You’ve got a modern pirate that is dressed to impress.

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