Your Pop Culture Portal

Jessica Simpson Can’t Dress Herself

By |   May - 15 - 2009

Jessica Simpson Daisy Dukes

Jessica Simpson Daisy Dukes

From this picture it’s pretty clear the Jessica Simpson can’t dress herself and it looks as if she can’t dance either. This dressing monstrosity was her second outfit choice at a recent concert at Seaworld in San Antonio Texas. Her first look was a simple navy blue dress but partway through the show she must have decided that Texas was the right place to channel her alter ego and pull on the Daisy Dukes.

Jessica Simpson has gotten some press recently about her weight and if she believes that all press is good press then maybe this outfit was designed to get more press. Her over-exposed legs are in pretty good shape considering that’s where some of the weight concerns have been in the past so one can assume she’s been hitting the gym. But her abs look particularly flabby and seem to protrude in a very unflattering way as her shirt rides up. Either way, if this outfit was designed to garner publicity it’s certainly worked.

But if Jessica Simpson actually wanted to look good for this outing then perhaps a fashion overhaul is required. Starting with her shoes. This is one of my favorite things since these vapid celebrities get to tack their name onto just about everything whether they have a clue about it or not. Jessica Simpson has her own shoe line and so let’s get rid of the ankle breaking wedges that don’t fit right and leave her toes hanging over the edge and find something a bit more appropriate for dancing on a stage. From her own collection let’s go with the Jessica Simpson Georgina Platform Sandal (which I MUST own) or the Jessica Simpson Genaviv Sandal. Both pairs are still dangerously high but her little toes should stay on board with these shoes.

Her Daisy Dukes should be retired, even when she’s in Texas. But if it’s a more country look she’s going for from her own collection the Jessica Simpson Cotton Gingham Check Dress would be a great choice. If she really wanted to sport a pair of shorts, the more trendy boyfriend short would have been the way to go, you get more coverage and you’re not clinging to the past. The Vigoss Stretch Denim Boyfriend Shorts are a great choice because they’re trendy, they cover your bottom and they stretch to fit when Jessica Simpson’s body is not quite in the shape it is here.

With the shorts a simple top that covers the belly is better than the odd belly exposing shirt with the shapeless vest that she’s currently sporting. The Fire Patchwork Flutter Sleeve Top would have been a great way to go, soft and feminine but also a little bit homey for the Texas crowd.

Although my suggestions would have looked much better on Jessica Simpson, it’s quite probable that they wouldn’t have caused the stir that her chubby belly and Daisy Dukes did, so I’m sure we’ll see more of the over-exposed Jessica Simpson in the future.

3 Responses to “Jessica Simpson Can’t Dress Herself”

  1. // popular today…

    story has entered the popular today section on…

  2. 10 Parenting Tips For All New Parents…

    […] If you are like most parents, in all probability want to raise sound, smart kids. You might already have some ideas on how to accomplish this. Here are some parenting tips that will assist parents ensure their kids develop to their full potential…

  3. Clothing Tips for Very Thin Women – Dark coloured clothes should be avoided, lighter shades or slight bright colours is a good option.

Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Call to undefined function wp_cumulus_insert() in /home2/sspencer/public_html/ Stack trace: #0 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ include() #1 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ require_once('/home2/sspencer...') #2 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ load_template('/home2/sspencer...', true) #3 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ locate_template(Array, true) #4 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ get_sidebar() #5 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ include('/home2/sspencer...') #6 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ require_once('/home2/sspencer...') #7 /home2/sspencer/public_html/ require('/home2/sspencer...') #8 {main} th in /home2/sspencer/public_html/ on line 20